HI there,

My wife and I have been married 9 years and things are honestly great between us, good sex and everything. She's not inhibited at all. I've been interested in seeing her play around with another guy but I'm afraid if I bring it up with her she'll think I'm crazy or don't care about her. This is definitely not the case...the reality is that I'm crazy about her completely, but am also not jealous or intimidated if she were to want to have sex with another guy with us.

I know at some point for those of you who are in the swinging life_style_, you guys must have brought it up for the first time to your wife. Any advice on how you did it, how to approach it...what to say?

Thanks

I'd love to hear an answer to this question, or at least some opinions of married men who have approached the idea of swinging to their wife. I'd love to bring this up but would like to hear some real-world stories of how others did it.

I have the same question. I love my Wife and am very comfortable with our relationship. I feel that swapping, with the right couple/couples, would increase our intimacy and spice up our sex life at the same time. It is a hard subject to breach, though. We have always been completely honest with each other and communicate well, I am just not sure how she would take this suggestion. I would like to hear from others on how they would recommend easing into the subject.

I started to tell my wife about my sexual phantasies and asked for her phantasies. I also stimulated her to behave in an erotic way (see-though dress, décolleté, and a lot of nudity). In the attachment is an example of her playful nudity. Then I said to her that I loved her but would not mind her to have sex with another man. First she was shocked, but later on, but later on she replied "Well, if you don't mind ..." A half year later she said that she would like to have some intimacy with a man from her choir. I said "Why not?" After a tour with her choir she told everything of her experiences with that man and it turned me on. I said that I would like to see her having sex with another man. She found it an animal desire, but after telling many phantasies she admitted. We arranged a man through the internet and my phantasy came true. You have o be patient, but the result is rewarding.

I'd also like to broach the subject to my wife, but I know she'll (1) be freaked out, and (2) be very upset. I wish there was another way. I want her to know that it's not that I don't love her, but that I do love her that I want this to happen. Any advice?

Well, it me a very long to bring up the topic, let alone have it happen. I guess you just have to know the person that you are with to be able to approach them with successful results. I knew that I had to come up with a logical explanation not for the actions but for the feelings that come out of such a life _style_. Once they are able to understand and accept who they are and how they will see you and how you will see them after. Eventually there comes a time where sex is really not that big of an emotional deal anymore (unlike it used to be when you were 17).

I started by talking to her about her previous encounters with men before me. I would casually bring it up during a conversation about something involving sex. For example, someone will be having sex on TV in a library, so I would ask her if she ever had sex with someone in the library. This type of conversation was comfortable enough for her and at the same time was good practice for opening up. Eventually she would blow me while telling me how she fucked someone else. That progressed into trying to get another couple for same room stuff. Never happened, but we did get another couple for full swap. I was way more interested in watching her get fucked by the guy that I wasn't really interested in the girl. That night was her first girl-on-girl experience as well. We felt a little weird the day after but realized that it wasn't anything between us (that whole "not seeing one another in the same light as before" thing) but was all due to vibe we got from the other couple. Now we are going to host a single male on a Fri and a Sat. She is still not really ready therefore she "wrapped" it into a stranger fantasy, etc.

I enjoy watching her getting fucked, what can I say?